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Ever Ours

by Let Me Write It

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1.
The new days, the fool's gaze The coward sang she's still in love with the man that she swore would take her hand But now she's trying to sail away, it's part of her name And she really likes the radio, she likes sounds so far away July 28th The season, the time likes creeping away You like 6 in bed by 10 No room to come out and connect, pay my respects to who that dumb girl might marry So it's kinda strange, us finally alone in your home today Let's play like we used to you- No, you'd rather play "awkward disconnect" And at this point, what should I expect? Talk to me please, we've got so much left to see I bet you could have been there for my birthday if you wanted to be I'm tired of guys, you were just tired and that's no surprise So will you stick by what you say? I guess you can't when you're yearning for change The air became thin, my body had caved in Collapsed, my composure, the tears formed as falls From memories and future dreams now erased, not suspended I'm not sorry snot smothered our skin as we ended I sunk to the floor, thank god we just cleaned it Spewed words from a song that you never listened A spectacle of disarray me at my darkest Don't try holding on while I'm losing my grip We'll make up any minute, right? That's how these things get Not a night ends unresolved, isn't that why we're perfect? But this one is different not a fight, a revelation You learn just what you built by clawing at dead weight My pleas killed my voice while you sat there in silence Nearly 3 years and I said the words for you By the end we agreed to subside with the summer My last month with you til you break free from cover And this month just won't be the same... They won't know us as... Love The clock struck, your bedtime, my signal to leave Our void finally visible to someone naive like me There's a storm far away, it sings softly both our names And I hear it so faint calling you, taunting me And you said you like the rain Well leave cause there's the rain ​
2.
One Thousand 04:38
What's on your tongue that I can't taste? Marred my senses, is that still your face? Deceit! Deceit! I see it through your teeth Close your mouth babe, it's starting to leak Remember the highs, the endless goodbyes, when gym coincided, the nights in your basement Dots almost close by, your shows became mine If you smiled or cried, please save me from aching Breathe, Sorry but how could this be We spent so much time perfecting you and me Once your priority Made plans for the future but didn't make 3 Your pedestal was made from my devotion, wanna tear it down? You better know where you're going Gone are morning texts, "how was your day", who's gonna ask? Complain to someone else, don't underestimate one such as myself I wrote one thousand things to see you smile The best gift you'll receive My presentation of all you meant to me (And you'll still leave) One thousand things to see you shine, now my efforts in vain Your choice to refrain When did you forsake Slipped up, the long road has brought chaos to our names Enough, my worn heart will bring chaos to your name You wanna mend? It seems you'd just rather pretend Til I find out as you break my mind down Refuting all my "baseless" call outs Apologies for insecurities Absence of transparency reveals a disband No these aren't colossal demands An attempt at making the innocent who claimed to speak the truth Own up to inequivalence rather than make an excuse Cause at this point we both know I mean less than you (Don't attempt to object just show me the proof) I wrote one thousand things to see you smile To think that you would leave me 1. How you made me the cutest list of 100 things you loved about me last year! 48. Whenever you point out that you can feel my heartbeat! 139. That we are still dating despite me being in college and stuff 200. The first time you said you wanted to be with me forever. 209. How we are both so gosh darn indecisive! 320. That we take forever to say good-bye! Probably my fault! 488. That thanks to you I can say I had a perfect year 497.That you think yogurt is icky! 598.That you feel safe in my arms 599.That you said you are never breaking up with me ! 635.That you deal with me being sensitive and stuff 698.How I know it’s hard for me to be away and I know you get sad about it, but I love that you are holding in there as best as you can 833.That you’re always tired. It is cute! That just means you can fall asleep in my arms all the time when we have the chance 854.That I could see the happiness resonating from you even if you were crying when we hugged that night! 902.That I can’t imagine my life without you now, since you made everything worth it I always have something to look forward to thanks to you I wrote one thousand things to keep you safe in my arms like you wanted Why did you forsake 976 was a lie about how I'd be okay if we broke up 984. That you put up with my defensiveness. As you have noticed, it is quite the character flaw and I apologize. 991. That the future used to scare me and now I can’t wait to see where it will take the both of us 997. That if for some reason the whole entire world decided to turn against me, I know you would definitely be the person I could turn to 1000. That there is no doubt in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. ​
3.
Phone obsessed, a callous mess, now you're finally being called out to confess Feel the fleeting flutter, retreat, don't recover, it's futile, no success To keep moving? They're still moving and so what of our missteps Forgot how to endure, now everything's a chore Like your flags, we once could soar Amazing how they turn back time, turning to their better days Cognition reshapes, we've faked but it's their DNA, always overlooking mistakes That perfect little place, their heavenly estate Don't you wish we could go back, or that we could see past We never got to dance like this again and now it's far too late Spinning out of self taught conditionals Place, close in sunlight Our steps envied by them too Feet combine with me, please Get dressed up And we'll untangle faulty motions Sing cold and frozen The door will reopen This time I'll get harmonies No, you wanna forget Turn quick to your resent So much for time well spent Bleed, trip as they proceed to wed Wondering, "were we once that perfect"? ​
4.
Act 2.8 02:09
Let's announce our deaths Now begins suspense Let's pay our final debts I'll drown in last respects Set a date to it Explicit falling action Or my attempt to prove That deep down there's still attraction After work that night Hope sparked in the lowest of light Laughter brought you joy and me relief You said the best you felt in weeks Can we keep up this pace Dropped the baton, still tried to race DQ imminent, let's be the exception The goal still remains Obstructed, but you've maxed out evasion We are waiting (we are waiting) For a sign to see If it's still 'we' This month is going well and we have reached an even higher peak So let's dispel uncertainty and return to our glory (Come back to the colors guarded by both of us then our lives will sync together lost endeavors will be found and saved forever) This newfound comfort in your head I'm tempting you with cheese and bread You're reminding me of this girl I knew way back back then This month you didn't feel like you had to pretend Let's continue our push with withered hands Reclaim what you hoped for first back then... ​
5.
Shut up They’re telling me to get out Shut up Uncouth and obnoxiously loud Laughing in darkness Biting my fingers Drowning out noise with my own It’s okay, only one more day The tracks will hum your name And we’ll make all the noise this weekend Allure of the station when you’re there (Forgo the bus, it’s faster to sprint) At last, we've made it to This day, in view It's heaven in the room Adding to our ruins Sing out Unlimited options on these streets Meals bigger than us but never enough I cleaned up and you weren't impressed Somehow we managed a bigger mess What will we look at tonight Laying in awe of the holy moonlight You colored up this ocean I can finally see the flow in And soon this will be every day So quick, the time flies, true These days were dreamlike A kiss, tears fall, we knew... Goodbye is "I'll see you soon" This phase is over But I still hear your ghost rushing through the tracks each day 3 stops, 9 bucks and a bus To get lost in memories deleted by you That time, now ended, true This place, you once improved A train passes through I won't see you soon ​
6.
You came to watch me sing You liked it but what business lead you there Then you tied yourself around my neck and you managed to make it stay Held your board on the way home, No “thanks” but I didn't mind You captured my attention Cause you tried, oh how you tried Playing forgetful, what a plan A treasure, the note to win your hand I see you’re impressed with what you read And so the story begins We came to a brand new glorious world You and me, an enchanting thing to see Keep me tied and I'll keep you safe We'll make it through anything Look forward to the future Where our time aligns sweetly We'll stay up only as long as you need And finally I'll enjoy sleep You’re an elegant masterpiece You increased my self-esteem In your arms I felt love and glory You kept my hands warm at games You drove to visit me without complaints 11:11 we wish together If it comes true we'll be forever Bubala, you're so much more than first glance Sew buttons onto pants, you say Then you "mer" away, I love the way we sing Look forward to the future Where our time aligns sweetly We'll help each other in our new home You flip em, and i'll fold the clothes Ha ha, don't expect our mercy We're judging everything you do, every word you say Cause that's just who we are and it's quite funny You reign over me I'll make all those wishes come true as you please You are my happily ever after lovely The only gift I need Forever and always, you and me Finally I'll enjoy sleep I don't care for the darkness, let it come we'll watch it break Your name is woven in my heart and my heart is yours to take ​
7.
I, Chimera 05:52
Hello post-relationship Nice to meet you 4 days was quite the break 'til we started talking, but for who's sake? Still a separation, feigning reformation The story of how far we'll go to care beyond our cataclysmic expiration date Still talking, planning visits, I could get used to this Mom found out and I kinda broke down Illusion tactics make me seeing you easier on my head Goodnight's Get home safe's You'll soon see my face This is the closest that we've ever been When I arrive let's be friends, nothing more But we laid exposed then regressed, our lips couldn't help it Traveled by train, held my arm in the rain Our vacation to our glorious past, wouldn't you say? Don't question my ways This was no mistake, I wanted to bring you back to me And you felt the same Deny it, but baby you had fed into everything Calls came more often, excited to hear your voice again A new routine as just friends November 4th, second visit No holding hands this time We'll just eat up, watch sappy movies Suddenly your body’s next to mine You finally learned to like walking Cleaned up your dishes while you worked You thanked me, was that a kiss goodbye? Remember, no holding hands this time Calls came more often, we're talking for hours on end Are you sure we're just friends? Do you want me to change for you? I could give you 4 kids Let’s get drunk, we’ll waste with the night too Edge means nothing compared to you I would never yell or fight, I'd bite my tongue, and don’t worry you'd always be right I'd leave this school, maybe transfer to Trenton too You can pick my best fit, just let me be with you Just let me be with you Thanksgiving, said you missed me You wanted to try again, but that's hasty And what if we failed after I said yes I'm not letting you dismantle me again You wanted me to text you first Well, I'm hesitant Look what happens when you don't respond Guess you like keeping secrets Only tell me what's convenient Seems you dig the party scene Kissing guys that aren't me But you still keep my hoodie underneath the pillow where you sleep Hello, old friend How have you Been quite some time since Last confessions You better off And me, a mess You said you'd help Surprise, you didn't Your night out Left me paranoid If you addressed it first This wouldn’t be destroyed You think we’re cast to Worlds so foreign Don't play your mind I love you ... Are you embarrassed or are you cringing? I'm the chimera you fear that haunts your sleep The one you didn't see through to the end or put out of misery Held my heart in the rain Our vacation to our god forsaken past that's what you claimed But nothing remains I'm in a strange place, vain to think you'd wait and come back to me You could call me crazy Do you think you used me, truly ​
8.
It all started 10/26 Back then beautiful bliss That date still etched deep in my skin But now it's gone, your siblings, your love, and all of those pinky kept promises Back home we meet again one more time, by your house in the wretched night Now I say choose I pick you I guess you did too Our last goodbye, (I thought we could weather this) You hurt me again this time Now They won't know us as exceptional We drowned just like the rest And unknown we'll be, my voice held in contempt, our silent seas Early relationship, I loved you more than you me This became toxic but I don't regret it I swam for you but i had to unhook the anchor or sink with this ship Us didn't make me happy in the end I heard you scream, you tantrum taking child, grow up you creep (How's this so easy for you?) Cause you're an explosion, stop thinking of me I know you're sorry, you're always sorry but that doesn't mean anything No We weren't exceptional, you held too close to your ideals and my old self Now let me go, stay away from my home, I won't be soaked by your laments Fine, if that's what you want Hope you can accept we might never speak again And now I'm alone, standing uncomfortable I lost my sign, my favorite friend (You gave me your fan and it cut me up) You got what you wanted, Me when you needed me and away when you didn't Without you Nothing's the same Where are you? Did you get home safe? "Give me love", I begged But you ignored my last refrain “What do you want” The last words you remember hearing from her mouth From far away, she pronounced the space to further disassociate herself with you “Goodnight have a good semester” Was her exit statement Where she revealed that she is done with you and all you represent Poems, apologies, love They all mean nothing In her eyes you are your absolute worst And from there you begin to nervously tread through the next stage of your life Where she chooses to fly is of no concern to an ocean dweller Lay down Dispel your distress You’re only gonna cry if she gets to you Breathe slow It isn’t complex You’ll forget her and move on eventually The screamer who stole her first year away Self-loathing forced her tears near the laundry room for all to see Your psychotic self took over and attempted to control her consumption and what the hell did you think was a good idea about that Think about all you kept her from because you couldn’t admit you had a problem And you did have a problem She was the only thing that could make you happy And you thought she was all you had Solace from the depths that will never cease to drag you down But a burden to a person so precious to you Despite your friends continuing to tear her apart claiming that you were better off While you still weren’t able to fault her You never wanted to fault her but she ended up giving you a reason to What you wanted was to see your friend one more time as she was With no hesitation she unveiled her worst to you, condemning your actions, leaving you with one final impression Guess what? She doesn’t give a damn about your worst anymore But her’s is the only thing capable of setting you free And you’ll find that the sea has so many places to venture as soon as you learn to let her go I want you back, I want to let you go I want you out of my head "Give a little time to me or burn this out We'll play hide and seek to turn this around All I want is the taste that your lips allow My my My my"¹ Severed these ties, our connection You had a chance to keep me close but you failed Your gravest mistake, you won't find much better than me Your future loves will be fake and unfulfilling I'm forever far away from you But I learned what’s further is just closer to something else Someone else You're finally done to me and I'm keeping your fan and cutting you out I'm the grace you'd end your days with I am your nostalgic places I won't be bound by your limits Your last drink may lift, but it's nothing compared to me Your new life's basic. It is nothing compared to me She’ll listen to all I say And respond, never nod, invested in me She’s a night owl too and a walker Hates silence and a good text partner She’ll love my friends and I’ll love hers too Never an intrusion just part of the group Comfort in dark moods Understanding when blue I’ll never feel alone She’ll care far more than you Now we're done It seems you have won You don’t care for what I say or who I’m with But maybe those thoughts do scare you and you want me back in your life again If that's the case then stay cast out or darling fucking fight for me ¹Ed Sheeran - "Give Me Love" ​
9.
Ever Ours 04:15
Hey These songs express the hate I'm past it I swear, I just had to get the hatred out of me I don’t think we’re speaking again You’re dancing with stars while I’m learning to swim Despite what we said and how we fell I’ll always be wishing you well Crazy, the time since then Surprised I actually commit to it? Me too, it wasn't easy But it got easier like you said You haven't been holding me back School sucks but I’m on the attack But it’s no surprise I still wonder where you’re at I hope ASL is going well, and that you're still L-happy Are you in charge of all your clubs yet, all of those acronyms? And those breaks, hands still like building houses? How are your friends, I hope that you kept them They're lucky to have you, and you them, Still plan on teaching the deaf? That's so valiant, you've got this, you deserve all you can get Much respect, but I confess, I still think of us Far from obsessed, a thought just lingers in my head This is something we once believed in Yes, it had to end I'll miss you like hell You were my best friend but we were not our best Ever Mine Dedication, to loved ones and keeping conversation I sometimes freak out and get too afraid to seek help for myself Ever Thine A beautiful mind, outspoken, and ready to lead or commit Just don't overburden yourself, you should have fun without the stress Ever Ours This experience, that like you I could never regret Held a bit too long but we had so much fun Something we'll remember til death But Ever Mine again Your forever, that I kept tucked in my wallet for whenever Let go cause you wanted me to and that's okay This wasn't for me, but you ​

about

Let Me Write It is a project about telling your own story and shaping your own future. You are the master of your destiny, don't let anyone impede that.

Ever Ours is specifically an un-sugercoated breakup album that has been almost 2 years in the making. For the better, the feelings this album touches upon are things that I have been far past for well over a year at this point. That just goes to prove how slow of a writer I am. But the feelings did exist, meaning this album is definitely a part of my past and that's why I'm releasing this despite it not reflecting my current self.

Hopefully there is more to take away from this than "I was sad and wrote about it", but hey, at the same time that's really all this is and for now, I think that's perfectly fine.

credits

released September 21, 2018

Everything by Let Me Write It

Special thanks to my loved ones. You know who you are.
And another broader special thanks to anyone who took the time to listen to all of this in it's entirety. This is a very special project to me and it really means the world that you decided to give it a chance.

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Let Me Write It Bloomfield, New Jersey

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